Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize