Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
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That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
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Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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