my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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