He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
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Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
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She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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