I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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