the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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