Kareoke will never be a sober sport
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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