I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize