so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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