I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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