overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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