Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
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I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
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I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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