I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize