I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
should my penis look like a turkey
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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