i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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