opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
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