sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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