Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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