Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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