in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm at about main and main street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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