Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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