she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize