I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize