let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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