If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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