He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
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I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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