butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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