You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize