hotel room ftw
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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