"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
BRING THE BAGELS
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize