College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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