apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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