We're like a lot better than the average bears
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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