its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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