Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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