Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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