i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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