She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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