NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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