He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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