what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
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All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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