Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
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I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
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my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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