That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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