he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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