I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My pussy is not your playground.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
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Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
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The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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