pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize