Dual....:-)
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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