Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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