Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
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I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
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dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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