Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Banned from zoo.
Again?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize